Trauma and Difficult Life Experiences

Most people will experience distressing or challenging events at some point in their lives. For some, these experiences may leave a lasting emotional impact that affects how they think, feel, and relate to others. Trauma is not defined by the event alone but by the effect it affects our sense of safety, control, and connection.

Difficult Life Experiences vs. Trauma

Not all distressing events lead to post traumatic symptoms, but all can impact mental health and wellbeing. It’s important to understand the different ways these experiences can affect people:

Difficult Life Experiences

These might include events like job loss, relationship endings, medical diagnoses, or life transitions. While these experiences can be painful, they don’t always overwhelm a person’s coping capacity or sense of identity. However, when emotions are left unprocessed or support is lacking, these events can contribute to ongoing stress, anxiety, or low mood.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

PTSD may develop after exposure to a single traumatic event, such as a car accident, assault, or natural disaster. People with PTSD can experience flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, and emotional numbing. They may feel as though the event is still happening or struggle to feel safe, even in the present.

Complex Trauma

Complex trauma results from repeated or prolonged exposure to threatening or overwhelming experiences, often beginning in childhood. This might include growing up with emotional neglect, abuse, domestic violence, or addiction in the family. Complex trauma can affect a person’s identity, relationships, emotional regulation, and sense of self-worth.

Attachment Trauma

Attachment trauma arises when early caregivers were emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, frightening, or rejecting. This kind of trauma can shape the way someone views themselves and others, often leading to deep fears of abandonment, difficulty trusting, or feeling unlovable. Attachment wounds can impact adult relationships and a person’s ability to feel secure, even in supportive environments.

Understanding what you’ve been through and how it’s affected you is a crucial step in healing. You don’t need to have a formal diagnosis to benefit from trauma-informed support.

How Psychologists Can Help

Trauma therapy is about creating safety both externally and internally. It involves making sense of what happened, developing tools to manage distress, and gently reconnecting with parts of yourself that may have been shut down or overwhelmed.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)

CBT can support recovery from trauma by helping you understand how your thoughts, memories, and beliefs are shaped by past experiences. For example, trauma can lead to beliefs like “I’m not safe” or “It was my fault.” In therapy, you might learn to recognise trauma-related thinking patterns, reduce avoidance, and gradually reclaim a sense of control and calm through behavioural strategies.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT helps you respond differently to painful internal experiences, including distressing memories, body sensations, and emotions. You may learn mindfulness techniques, values-based goal setting, and ways to move toward a meaningful life, even when trauma symptoms persist. ACT is especially helpful for developing psychological flexibility and building a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

Schema Therapy

Schema Therapy is particularly effective for complex and attachment trauma. It works by identifying deep-seated emotional patterns, such as feeling defective, abandoned, or unsafe and understanding how these schemas formed in early life. Using a mix of cognitive, behavioural and experiential interventions, a Schema therapist helps you reprocess these early experiences, meet unmet emotional needs, and build healthier, more nurturing internal responses. You may also explore how protective “modes” (like avoidance, perfectionism, or emotional numbing) developed as survival strategies and learn new, adaptive ways of coping.

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