Relationship and Family Difficulties

Relationship satisfaction is central to our wellbeing. All relationships are important, including romantic partnerships, family relationships, friendships, relationships with community and colleagues. Our ability to function in our relationships also impacts the most important relationship of all, the one that we have with ourselves. Relationship satisfaction is associated with higher self worth and increased ability to manage hardships. When relationships become strained or painful, it can have a significant impact on our mental and emotional health.

Relationship and family difficulties can arise in many forms: ongoing conflict, communication breakdowns, emotional disconnection, feelings of rejection or resentment. You might feel dissatisfied with one particular relationship or you may notice a pattern of functioning and feeling across your relationships. 

It’s common to feel stuck, confused, or alone when navigating these issues — especially when they involve people we deeply care about. Therapy can help you explore what’s happening beneath the surface and develop more constructive ways to understand and relate to others.

Common Signs of Relationship or Family Strain

• Frequent arguments or unresolved tension
• Feeling emotionally distant, unsupported, or misunderstood
• Difficulty expressing needs, setting boundaries, or feeling safe in communication
• Patterns of criticism, defensiveness, or withdrawal
• Repeating the same dynamics in multiple relationships
• Difficulty trusting others or feeling secure in closeness
• Guilt, resentment, or confusion after interactions with loved ones

If you are feeling unsafe inside a relationship it is important to seek immediate safety. Please contact 1800 RESPECT for advice. 

Why Relationship Challenges Occur

Our relationship patterns are shaped by a mix of past and present experiences, including early attachment experiences, personality traits, and life stressors.

For example, someone who grew up in an unpredictable or emotionally unavailable environment might find it hard to trust others or feel safe expressing vulnerability. Others may have learned to prioritise others’ needs while ignoring their own, leading to resentment or burnout in adult relationships. High stress, life transitions, trauma, or unresolved grief can also place strain on even the strongest connections.

How Psychologists Can Help

Whether you’re seeking support as an individual, couple, or family member, therapy can help unpack unhelpful patterns, improve communication, and foster deeper understanding and connection. 

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)

CBT can help you identify how your thoughts and interpretations influence your emotional reactions and behaviours in relationships. For example, you might explore how assumptions like “They don’t care about me” or “I always mess things up” impact how you respond in moments of conflict or vulnerability. Therapy focuses on increasing awareness, building emotional regulation skills, and experimenting with more balanced ways of relating.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT supports you in responding more flexibly to difficult emotions and interpersonal challenges. You might learn to notice the internal fears that come up in relationships, like fear of rejection or failure, without letting them dictate your actions. ACT also helps clarify your values (e.g., connection, honesty, kindness), so you can act in ways that feel aligned, even when relationships are hard.

Schema Therapy

Schema Therapy is particularly effective for long-standing or recurring relational issues. It helps uncover deeper emotional patterns and unmet needs that may have begun in childhood, such as fears of abandonment, feeling not good enough, or needing to please others to be accepted. Therapy may involve a mix of cognitive, behavioural and experiential exercises to help you to learn about why you struggle in the way that you do in your relationships and then heal deep emotional wounds and unlearn the coping mechanisms that are not serving you today.