Intense Emotions

Tigers, turtles and humans are all moved by the same bodily activations called emotions. These emotions organise human behaviour. Unlike reptiles and mammals, however, we can become conscious of these physical activations and label them as feelings. Subjectively becoming aware of our feelings gives us a sense of core self, the basis of our identity. Feelings are the fundamental way that we make sense of the world. They tell us what we want, what we don’t want, what gives us pleasure, and what gives us pain. Like a GPS, feelings tell us where we are, where we want to go and then mobilise us to get there.  

For some people, emotions can feel overwhelming, unpredictable, or hard to manage. Emotional dysregulation refers to difficulties in understanding, processing, and responding to emotional experiences in a way that feels manageable or balanced.

People who struggle with emotional dysregulation may feel like their emotions come on too quickly, too intensely, or last longer than others’. These intense feelings might lead to rash actions and cause problems in all life domains. Over time, this can affect self-esteem, create cycles of conflict, and make daily life feel exhausting.

What Causes Emotional Dysregulation?

Emotional regulation is a skill that develops over time, shaped by our early relationships and life experiences. When a child grows up in an environment where emotions are dismissed, punished, or ignored, they may not learn how to identify or soothe big feelings. Alternatively, if someone grew up in a chaotic or unpredictable environment, heightened emotional responses may have become a necessary way of coping.

Over time, these learned patterns can become ingrained. Certain personality traits  such as high sensitivity or reactivity can increase the likelihood of emotional dysregulation, especially when combined with past experiences of trauma, neglect, or invalidation.

How Psychologists Can Help

Working on intense emotions doesn’t mean getting rid of them, instead therapists focus on helping you learn how to understand, regulate, and express your feelings in ways that feel safe and constructive. 

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps you understand how your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours interact. In the context of emotional dysregulation, CBT can support you to identify triggers, challenge unhelpful thinking patterns, and develop more balanced responses. For example, you might learn how certain thoughts intensify emotions like anger or shame, and practise strategies to reduce emotional reactivity in high-stress situations.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT offers tools to respond to emotions with curiosity and compassion, rather than avoidance or suppression. You might learn mindfulness-based skills to observe your emotional experiences without being swept away by them, and build a stronger connection to your values by learning to tune into your emotional experiences. This allows you to take purposeful action even when emotions feel intense and begin to unhook from reactive patterns.

Schema Therapy

Schema Therapy is especially helpful for long-standing emotional difficulties that began in early life. It helps identify and work through deep-rooted patterns, or “schemas,” such as feeling abandoned, unlovable, or defective. Therapy may involve strengthening a nurturing inner voice, healing unmet emotional needs, and learning new ways to manage distress without self-criticism or avoidance. This approach can be particularly valuable for people who have experienced chronic invalidation or attachment trauma.