Grief, Sadness and Loss

Grief is a normal and deeply human response to losing someone or something important. Its purpose is to help us process the reality of what has changed, honour what was important, and begin to adapt to a world that may feel unfamiliar or incomplete. While painful, grief is a sign of love and connection, a way our minds and bodies begin to integrate deep emotional change over time.

Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a miscarriage, the loss of a role or identity, or a significant life transition, these experiences can leave us feeling devastated. Grief and loss don’t always follow a neat path, they can unfold slowly, come in waves, or catch us off guard long after the event itself.

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Common Responses to Grief and Loss

While sadness is a natural part of grief, the emotional experience can be much broader. You may feel numb, angry, anxious, confused, guilty or all of the above. You may withdraw from others, lose interest in things you once enjoyed, or find it difficult to function in daily life. You may feel stuck, as though life has paused, or question the meaning and direction of your future. In some cases, grief can become prolonged or complicated, especially when there is trauma, unresolved conflict, or limited support around the loss.

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Why Grief Can Feel So Complex

Grief is shaped not just by the event itself, but by the relationship, the circumstances of the loss, and your personal history. A sudden or traumatic loss might leave you in shock, while a long-anticipated loss can still bring intense pain if the relationship was cherished. If the relationship was complicated, marked by conflict, distance, or unspoken words, the grieving process may be mixed with guilt, anger, or unresolved emotions.

Cultural background, personality, support networks, and previous life experiences can also influence how you grieve. In some cases, loss can reactivate earlier emotional wounds, especially if those past experiences were not fully processed.

There is no right way to grieve, no fixed timeline or set of rules. What matters most is finding a way to acknowledge and live with your loss that feels true to you.

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How Psychologists Can Help

Therapy doesn’t take grief away, but it can help you carry it and sometimes even reduce the burden. Psychological support can help you understand your emotional responses, process painful memories or regrets, and begin to re-engage with life in a way that feels meaningful, without diminishing the significance of your loss.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps you explore the thoughts and beliefs that shape your experience of grief. For example, you may be struggling with beliefs like “I should be coping better” or “I didn’t do enough.” In therapy, you can gently challenge these unhelpful thought patterns and develop more compassionate ways of relating to yourself. CBT also supports practical coping strategies for managing sadness, anxiety, and disrupted routines.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT offers tools for being present with your emotions without being overwhelmed by them. Rather than trying to suppress grief, ACT helps you hold space for your pain while also reconnecting with your values and what matters to you. Therapy may include mindfulness techniques, exploring meaning in the midst of loss, and finding ways to take steps forward while continuing to honour your experience.

Schema Therapy

Schema Therapy is especially helpful when grief taps into deeper emotional patterns from earlier in life, such as feeling abandoned, unlovable, or unsafe. These beliefs may have formed in childhood and become reactivated in the face of loss. Schema Therapy helps you identify and understand these underlying patterns, develop self-compassion, and begin to meet the emotional needs that may have long gone unmet.